Rufus McGall 2: A Working Man

Rufus McGall 2: A Working Man

  If you read my first post about Rufus earlier today in this blog you probably got to get a good feel and start to know Rufus, many of you probably shed a tear and have a nice warm place in your heart now for Rufus. After I wrote about Rufus I found out that he had to aquire another job in order to obtain things in his life like booze, crack, and better food than what I give him. Another thing I didn't tell you about Rufus is he has a girlfriend. Or as he calls her "My Ho". Her name is Shenequah. Rufus said she works for the government. He wasn't quit clear to me what she did there but he said he knows she works for the Canadian Gubbament as all the cheques she gets comes from them.

  Here is Shenequah. Rufus is in love with her and all of her 12 children. She named all of her children JJ. I was at first confused about how she could manage them and not get them all confused. But when she calls them she just calls them by their last names to tell them apart. She is smart I really understand now what Rufus sees in her.

 But now onto Rufus's new job. Rufus has always been in sales the problem with him though is that he has been on the side that aquires the object and usually illegally. This guy named Gary that I indroduced Rufus to is a salesman and he is looking for another sales rep to work for him. Rufus is on salary plus bonuses. The item that Rufus will be selling is tampons. Gary was a little hesitant on hiring Rufus at first because Rufus asked if he would be selling both male and female tampons. But after getting Rufus's vibe Gary hired him on the spot.

 So the nerves are definately getting to Rufus and he probably will have a tough time sleeping tonight. The one thing about Ruffie though is he eats out of the horse trough by the shed there alot. I know he does it, the horses know that he does it, but he thinks we don't know and we don't want to embarass him by telling him not to. So I put a little bit of tranquilizers in the food in there for tonight so it will knock him out a bit tonight so he isn't upity and restless.

  Rufus will succeed at his job I am very confident about this. He told me about his vast great work history he helped make the automobile with Harrison Ford and helped Al Sharpton invent electricity until the white man stole that idea away from them. Rufus told me stories about how that black men use to be able to fly until the racist white man took that away. And trust me with Rufus's credibility anything he says must be true.

I will fill you all in tommorow on how Rufus does.

Reasons To Steal From Senior Citizens

Reasons To Steal From Senior Citizens

  Stealing from senior citizens is not only easy and very profitible, It can also be a lot of fun. Nothing can give you a laugh or make you feel better about yourself than when you push an elderly person down to the ground who is about 90 and steal their purse. Double bonus for funny if it is their life savings in their purse. That is why it is always best to hit them up when they are leaving a bank. The majority of the time you don't have to physically assault the senior citizens but it makes it a little more funny.

  Old drunk Joey that lives in the box behind the liquor store is one of the best at robbing seniors that I know. He says he doesn't like physically hitting them anymore because he is in his 50's and has drank shitty wine his whole life and he told me that he laughs so hard when he pushes them down that he often defecates in his pants from laughing.

  Some people with a bit of dignity try the lying to scam seniors approach. But most proffesional high end senior theft experts say that method is too nice.

  The one funny way to rob them is find an old lonely person in one of them geyser homes (preferably in a wheel chair). Show up and tell them that you have to take them out to see their nephew. Then take them into a big store or the mall and just leave them there. Then go back to their place and totally clean them out. If an employee of the nursing home comes just say that they are out with your sister and you have to pack up some things. They have never questioned when that method is used. If you are black do not attempt to rip off seniors as black people do not care about their relatives so you will be automatically labeled as a theif.

  Just like old folks homes other great places to rip off senior citizens include hospitals, bingo halls, and churches. I mean really would god make it that easy to rip off seniors in his own house if he didn't want you to do it? I mean fuck come on he is basically inviting you in to rip them off.

  Sure there are some hippie fag liberals that say stealing from senior citizens is wrong or immoral but they are saying that because they are trying to hide the fact from everyone else that they do it all the time. Its true most people that condemn bad shit are the worst offenders of it. It is like people that say they hate fags odds are they are the biggest poo pushers around.

  So I hope that helped you all out. remember they are old and weak not only do they deserve it they are asking for it.

Reasons Why It Is Cool To Hit Women

Reasons Why It Is Cool To Beat Women

  Unlike such great countries like Afghanistan, Pakistan, Iran, Iraq, ect where Beating women is a national sport. In the western world for some reason is illegal but it is also frowned upon. Why we will never know. The common term for hitting a woman is known as domestic violence. Domestic violence 99% of the time is justified and serves a reason. For example if you get home from the strippers with your friends and there is a single dirty dish in the sink. That is at least 5 smacks in the face for the bitch. If your old lady buys you the wrong kind of beer that is another ass beating. There are a few things that you shouldn't beat your wife for like when she gives you her credit card and only wants you to spend 95 bucks on hookers instead of 100. That is reasonable as long as she swallows when you get home.

  Really when men beat women it is the men that are the victims of all of this. The women made them do it. I know this one guy I call him Big Chief he is a 6'5 320 pound native guy his wife is only ( 5'1 100 pounds maybe) And one day we were all watching the football game there and the battery in the remote died. So he got up and beat her to a pulp. He only smacked her 6 times ( I was laughing pretty hard so it could of been 7 times) and through her down the small flight of stairs. But she deserved it. If she would of checked the level on the batteries earlier no one would of had to of gotten up to walk the 2 feet to turn the volume up. Stupid bitch. She understands it was her fault just like all of you reading this do.

  Some men like to beat their wives with objects so they don't hurt their hands. These men are usually the smarter ones. But always make sure that you hit the woman with something that belongs to her and not you so you don't break your own things.

  In some rare instances some people mainly neighbours (your wife if you haven't been hitting her enough) will phone the cops, 99.9999% of people that call the cops are homosexuals it is a fact. The good thing is most cops hit their wives too so they understand. The reason why most cops hit their wives is they have the disease of penis envy. They became cops for some authority because they feel they lack not having a dick. So they will understand why you beat your wife. Just assure the cop when he arrives there that your dick is smaller than his regaurdless if it is or isn't. This could save you from going to jail.

  Remember you are the man now go remind your wife that.

Top 10: Celebrity Whores

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South Park 1

  South Park one of the most contrevery shows on television which usually makes it one of the best. If you have never heard of South Park you are probably too fucking stupid to read this. There are tons of sites with South Park shit all over the net this South Park Zome blog is one of the better ones that I have found. You can play games and watch episodes on it. But if you google South park you can find just as many other places.

  South Park episodes have created a lot of whining pussies to complain about the show. Mostly hippie liberals who whine about anything that offends them. South Park is a great show written by 2 men who appear to be homosexuals although other reports claim they are not. The show has manged to piss alot of people off which is a good thing this kid in the video below seems to be quite offended by the show.

  This kid has gained internet fame with over 29 million views for his little rant. Read the comments on the video too. You would think that a fat ugly piece of shit like that wouldn't become that vocal on the issue as he is just drawing attention to himself.  But really his life was probably ruined before he made the video. If you watch the video feel free to leave a comment on the video he has them on and must like the attention.

  One of the biggest uproars is when South park wanted to air an episode of the muslim profit Mohammed. That caused alot of uproar with muslims around the globe. We all know how Islam is known for peace and tolerance so of course they would never do anything to cause a stir.

More to come soon......

Canadas Secret: Part 1 Military

Canada's Secret: Part 1 The Military

 Canada and war hearing those thing in the same sentance is like hearing about the fat chick that turns down mcdonalds. it just doesnt happen very often. But it happens more than you would think. Canada had a strong military precence in Afghanistan, Iraq, and numerous other smelly camel raping countries. Most people Canadians especially when they think of Canada fighting they think we would just get the states to protect us like some big brother. Hence we give the yanks everything they want anyway they sort of owe us.

  Canada has a larger inteligence precense in the US than the US does in Canada. Do Americans really think that the NHL was invented because we cared about Americans trying to learn to play hockey? Look at Hollywood also. Next to Jews the next biggest group of people in there is Canadians. We can even strike you with double wammies US the most powerful and biggest threat to your country. THE CANADIAN JEW.

  See Canada knows the weakness of the American people is the entertainment. And since one of the only ways to get into Hollywood is to be Jewish we had to recruit Canadian Jews to infultrate the system for Canada.

  Since most Americans have repeatedly blamed Canada for the terrorist attacks of 9-11 Canada has beefed up large security measures on the skydome, west edmonton mall, and the head office for Molson breweries. Canada know that the US and Russia have been best friends along with Cuba to wipe Canada off the map so Canada has started off slowly with their plan to make America a big isolated state. Canadian Prime Minister Tim Horton declared the US on its axis of evil along with Sea World and the Vatican. The process of dumbing America down started back in the 70's when a young hippie from Toronto named Alec showed up at the Canadian National Headquarters in Montreal looking for a job. He showed great promise. So Canada recruited him on a full scholarship to play hockey at the University of Canada and study offence in the military. He then became a Captain and went in to the states to dumb down moral. He started a show called Jeopardy with William Shatner to make Americans feel stupid. The trap was a great sucess as Americans started feeling dumber by the second.

  The other plan that the Canadian Super Evil Power had was to send out fliers in Mexico about how great America was. Since the border guards were on to Canada. The Canadian military just took pictures of Cancun and Mazatlan to show the mexicans. With this plan still in place to day along with help from Arnold Swartzineger the state of California is starting to dismantle.

  CNN and other libtarted stations hid the fact that Canada captured Hussien. That is just something else to get their heads off of the real threat. Canada. America knows it now you all know it. Canada is up to something and when you Americans are listening to your cRap music, idolizing basketball, and whining about your health care and government. We will strike. Canada is on to you America. Why do you think we are so nice to your faces. We all laugh at you behind your backs. And if your British and you are laughing at this wipe that smirk off your fucking face the UK is next after the states. Viva la Canada.

Rufus McGall 1: The beginning and life of Rufus McGall

The story of the legend Rufus McGall is a legendary one to say the least I first met Rufus a few weeks ago when I seen him stealing a chicken and watermelon from Walmart. The cops were going to arrest him but a part of me had a bit of sympathy for Rufus as he only stole the things as he wanted to eat. It turns out that I knew one of the police that was going to arrest Rufus and I knew that the cop had preformed in a porno movie some years back that his wife did not know about. I talked to the cop and the cop let Rufus go under my protection as long as I did not reveal the story about his porno " Asian asses of fire" To his wife. I promised to take good care of Rufus. I offered Rufus a job working for me on my web blog here at The Everything Blog. I pay him 5 bucks a day and all the grape drank he can drink. Rufus sleeps in my shed (without a chain) and helps out quite a bit around. I don't let him too far into the house unsupervised though.

  There is a picture of Rufus with the computer that he stole from the library yesterday in my shed. I connected the internet for him but as you can tell by the photo he is a little clueless on how the computer works. I still haven't had the heart to tell him that he has to turn the power on but maybe he will figure it out.

  The other night I bought a couple of colt 45 beers for Rufus and he opened up to me and told me his life story.

  Rufus was born sometime between 1980 and 1984 but the only recollection of prove is when his adoptive parents found him at a greyhound bus station outside of Milwaukee in 1984. His parents were immigrants from Scotland. Willie and Susan. Both famous in the entertainment industry and not being able to have kids they adopted Rufus. Willie was busy as a janitor and actor on the television show the Simpsons most know him as "Ground Keeper Willie". And his mother was on American Idol I think as Susan Boyle. They loved Rufus and travelled around the USA with him.

  Finally in 1994 they settled down in Detroit as there are lots of black people there and they felt Rufus could benefit from that and become as succesful as they were. But things got hard as Rufus quit raping and thugging and started out hanging out with a rough crowd in the Chess Club.

  These kids were known around the Detroit metro as being the baddest mother fuckers around and Rufus's parents got really upset with Rufus. They suspected he was in gang activity such as racketeering and trafficking as his grades got good they suspected him of bribing the teachers. There was one boy in the gang who Susan Boyle felt fucked Rufus up the most. Xian Nguyen who was A chinese vietnamese kid who was from Japan. Since he was Asian and Susan and Willie were racist and taught Rufus their racist ways. They felt betrayed.

  Xian is pictured above. But Rufus parents as racist as they were did not know that Xian was best friends with Adolph Hitler. Once Rufus met Hitler is when the biggest problems of all started. It was the summer of 1996 and Abraham Lincoln came back to become president after Bill Clinton was fired for having sex with Mariah Carey. Rufus moved his way up the ranks after Xian was killed in a staged chemistry lab accident (which everyone knows is a cover up as the crips had a hit out on him for his role in the watergate scandal).

Rufus and Hitler had to get Lincoln out of the whitehouse but how? They couldn't call their buddy John Wilkes Booth as he was in the witness protection program for busting a cap in George Washington back in the 80's.  Lincoln knew Rufus was after him. Rufus tried to stay as calm as he could but Hitler was panicking and some even think that Hitler was going to off Rufus. After a failed attempt by Tony Soprano to kill Rufus. Rufus's uncle principal Seymour Skinner introduced him to Harriet Tubman to get Rufus into Canada where he could be safe.

  Rufus hooked up with Jemima and Ben to of his homies from south side compton which at the time was in turmoil as the KKK opened up their new office there. And they fled on the underground railway to canada and arrived in the early 2000's. Rufus seperated immediatly after he entered Canada into Canadas capital in Winnipeg. He stayed away from the street life there and hid low tell I met him stealing.

  Rufus has made a miracouls journey. He will fill me in on more to tell. We can all learn from a straight shooter named Rufus who shows us all hard work can get us all lots of shit.

Smoke Porch

Smoke Porch

  At first look Smoke Porch reminds me a little bit like news like it is where it is just a collection of a bunch of cool shit. Lots of funny pics. Its a small basic version done on Tumblr. Still worth checking out.

Stupid Funny Pics

Stupid funny pictures

  I found this blog by googling ass head. And found a picture of some paki with a turban on and almost pissed myself laughing.

  There is a shit load of funny pictures on this site. It is a great site to view if you are not eating or do not plan on getting laid in the next while as some of the pictures will make you through up or make your dick stop working. But if you have some time to kill check it out.

Farting For Boys

http://fartingforboys.blogspot.ca/
 
Wow this is a great blog not only is it about farts but it is about farting for boys. Not only can you be a member but you can also join this blog via google friends. I would be a fucking moron if I didn't take full opportunity to be a proud member so I joined.
  Guys fart on video and you can rate the fart. How is this site not fucking bigger than google. My favourite fart so far is described as the fart web master calls it A rumbler. 

  This kid has numerous fart videos. His parents must be so proud of him. I have no clue why this kid is not the most famous person in the world with his amazing farts.  He must get so much pussy too from all the little tic tac titted girls in his grade one class.

  But back to farting for boys there is a section for fart jokes and also a sloppy farts section. Plus a fart facts section. This is the ultimate fart site.